We all know the Bucket List. But today I’m starting my “Passion List”. For years I’ve sought to find my “passion”. To no avail. I’ve wondered if I have some deep-seated psychological barrier to “passion”. All my life, I’ve had many things (and people) I liked, even loved. But being passionate about any of these, not so much. Not that I haven’t wanted to, not that I haven’t tried. Maybe it’s my definition of passion, maybe that’s where I’ve gone wrong. But I am still secretly (well, not anymore) seeking to find that one place in my life that am so in love with that I’m practically consumed by it. (Not in a mentally unstable way, just in a ‘oh my gosh, I can’t wait to do it’ kind of a way) And darn it, I’m very near 50 years old…surely I can figure out my passion.
My sister, her passion is quilting. My mom’s, reading. My friend Kellee, horses. My husband, the lake. Stephanie, music. Megan, photography. Mary, exercising. Paula, cooking (ok, I thought I’d slip that in, but we know she is!) I like all of these things, (well, who am I kidding, not exercising!) I even love some of them, but passionate? No.
I personally think it all started in my childhood. I always felt good at things, but never great. (okay, weep some big tears for me right now, and then we’ll be over it!) Earliest memory, baton twirling lessons. Then piano, then horses (see I tried!), then flute, even cheerleading. All of which I eventually quit, well, because I didn’t feel passionate about any of them. That just gets me into high school, the adult list, we’d be here for hours. Suffice it to say, I’ve done every craft project there is at least once. I’ve volunteered, I’ve taught, I’ve even co-hosted a radio show. Nope. No passion. At this point I am sure Dr. Phil would chew me up and spit me out in little pieces. (Am I beginning to sound like a selfish little snot…i’m sorry, hear me out.) I swear, I love a lot of those things, but “consumed”, No.
So this my year of “Jubilee”, what better time to figure it out. Let’s start with the things I love…
*Chocolate (I’m going for anything I love here, we’ll narrow this down later!)
*Old people (older than me!)
Well, that’s the beginning…somewhere in all this, I plan to find “passion”. What’s yours? Maybe it will help me.
This may be a long search. Hang with me on this one, and if you have any ideas, or Dr. Phils phone #, hey, let me know!